hmmm

Where do I start? all these thoughts in my head and they are all vying to be heard, but they are all shouting at the same time! Makes it so hard to hear myself sometimes! My poor brain!

my emotions are all over the place! too much is going on in my skull. my eog is all sad because, well, it seems like no-one is out there in the ether reading this... yet I know that my self-worth should not be based on some blog thing! hah - easier said than done! especially for one who is trying so hard to be heard! I often think that maybe I should just shut up!

So the question is - why am I here?

well my first thought was that I was here to try and glorify my God... however I think I have done a miserable job at it!

my second thought was to try and sell some of my prints... I am doing a miserable job at that too!

so what is the point of staying? to be honest - I'm not sure! maybe it has something to do with that in the website I am building has links to my blogs...

Apparently I am to expect good things... And apparently I am a child of the Most High God... so why do I sound like I am full of doubt and dis-belief? Why am I mopey? I've heard it preached that Christians are supposed to be the happiest people on the planet! We have heard and received the good news (Jesus coming to earth - virgin birth - living as human yet also fully God - then dieing on a cross for our sins and then triumphantly raising again!) So I ask again - why am I so mopey? And also, why am I doing such a miserable job at pretty much everything I try to do? why do I feel forgotten? why are you so down cast o my soul?

hmmm... more questions than answers... that seems to be the norm for me!

this particular song keeps going over in my skull...
"...blessed are those whose strenght is in You who are pilgrims with hearts on a journey to You as they pass thru the desolate valley of weeping, they will make it all a place of springs, the autumn rains will also cover it... for the Lord is a sun and a shield around me, and He showers His favour and His honour upon me, from the blameless He never witholds any good thing. He will not withold any good thing and blessed are the ones wo trust in Him" (Sons Of Korah psalm:84)



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